January 2012
109 posts
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December 2011
125 posts
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brandon university music building. site of my first crush on a musician.
he played the cello and would sit on these chairs in the foyer waiting for his lessons like me and my flute or my choir books.
his long awkward boy hair would hang in front of his too angular features as he silently moved his fingers in contortions i couldn’t follow.
my too young silence and averted eyes would file...
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(nerd) confessions #8
my openoffice autofill brings up ‘authority-claiming’ whenever i type ‘author’ and ‘subject-in-the-making’ whenever i type ‘sub.’
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friends.
how is it that i’m at the point in my life where platonic friendships are the most difficult to negotiate? and the most difficult to articulate?
i have so many words for the levels of intimacy with sexual partners, but not for my partners who which i share more emotional-sexual relationships (as in we communicate about our sexual lives with very little abandon, and support each other...
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still.
cancel your trip back to manitoba for the christmas holidays due to work and family dynamics.
plan a trip to new york to visit an old beautiful friend potential lover for the christmas days.
work and work and work and work and work.
exhaust yourself trying to accomplish all of the things.
wake up the day you are supposed to get on the bus to new york and break down realizing your body cannot...
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survival strategies #7
depend on & pay attention to those 10 minutes of pride & confidence after sending a cute & witty text/email/fbmessage to person x, to make up for the excruciating self-doubt of the t-however long it takes person x to write back.
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confessions #7
i spend almost all my free time hanging out with beautiful intelligent people.
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boxing day.
woke up early to a friend singing left & leaving in my bathroom. cue guattari & coffee & kitten cuddles in bed.
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letters.
“I want my intimate life to be free from idealist distortion.”
beautiful. i’ve been forced to become a realist in terms of my intimate life; after what happened two summers ago, i could no longer believe that i would find someone who would never fuck up royally, who would never “break my heart,” because i found myself to be intensely lacking in those departments,...
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“If every scar
On this poor back
Could only speak
These walls would crack”
– Nixon in China
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therandomforest asked: Hi! Do you live in San Fransisco? (I'm not...)
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confessions #6
studying with somebody i have a big crush on always seems like a great idea.
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my right tricep is actually killing me from all the writing i’ve been doing this week.
essaymas
if i just don’t stop working, i won’t miss my family or the prairie cold or the sparkly horizon and piercing sun.
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with every heartbeat.
i suppose it’s the darkness.
the time of year.
the exponentially greater amount of sparkle there was 365ish days ago.
i’ve been thinking frequently about jordan.
and all of the people who are missing him.
know i love you.
know i love you.
know i love you.
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update
began the day with a swift and brutal fall on the ice running to catch the bus.
on my bare knee no less, celebrating the fact that i am not in 40 below manitoba.
with my palm and wrist stinging, cue totally rocking my modern british literature exam.
‘Cue Joyce falling off the coherent narrative bandwagon. The end.’
as i handed it in, my prof said he would get my mrs dalloway...
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survival strategies #7
clean the sheets, then eat cookies in bed.
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mindblown.
i had a dinner date with my new friend graeme last night who is a soil biologist.
my neat 1960s book club copy of carson’s silent spring became a point of conversation.
my favourite part is the part about the earthworms.
graeme promptly informed me that earthworms are in fact a colonial import (and agent), and were useful for agriculture, but are actually really fucking up forests.
...
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“Cultural approaches to trauma [note: AS IN DANCE PARTIES]…are actually...”
– Ann Cvetkovich, An Archive of Feelings
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“throw passion in the face of cruelty, positivity in the face of heartbreak,...”
– facebook status update 27 October 2010
\^/
i swear i will tell you a story soon.
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update.
1) even my doctor thinks i should go to berlin for grad school. quote: “you would fit right into the european lifestyle.” i assume this is a compliment based on how much coffee i drink and how much i think about scarves.
2) i have a pimple on my face, and it is upsetting me. this is my tumblr, so i get to complain about the one of two pimples on my face i get a year. it hurts. and is...
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thesewitheredmachines:
i’ve never had a close friend who wasn’t a gemini, pisces, or cancer.
a huge majority of my close friends have been other virgos, leos, or pisces.
oh. and a bunch of aquarians. as a leo/virgo, i’m probably one of the only signs that can successfully put up with their weirdness.
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confessions #5
the ONLY thing i don’t like about school (other than the pricetag) is that every once in a while it interferes with flirting.
making outs > making notes.
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my printer ran out of black ink last week
so i’ve been printing in the cyan i have left.
and i just realized i submitted my take home exam in dark turquoise font.
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“The “double edge where she has always lived, between the already spoken and the...”
– talkin bout daphne marlatt, another excerpt from my canlit take home, “Cadence, Mothertongue, Poetic Attention: Home-making in Lee, Marlatt, and McKay” BAM FINISHED.
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if i had a wish.
i would wish for all of the people i love to be able to see themselves as i see them for even just a second.
i wouldn’t want them to know it was me.
i would want it to come simply, like they catch a glimpse of themselves in a night bus window, and for just a moment, they are able to see their limitless beauty & grace & magic & potential & strength.
then maybe when they...
